Hottest of Them All
by Rochelleteentitan
Summary: It's agreed that Ichigo and Orihime would make an attractive couple. However, their friends cannot agree on which of the orange haired teens is more attractive. Therefore, they must discuss it to come to a consensus. Maybe they don't have to have the discussion in front of the mortified pair.
1. Hottest of Them All

A/N: New story! And it's cannon universe, which I don't do too often. Without further ado,

 **Title: Hottest of Them All**

…

 **..**

 **.**

Tatsuki picks up her phone when she hears the 'new message' alert jingle. Her brown eyes quickly scan the screen. She finishes reading and tosses the phone back down onto the blanket she is currently sitting on.

"That was Orihime. She says they're on their way."

Chizuru stretches out on her own blanket, which is adorned with the smiling face of well-known lesbian Ellen DeGeneres, languidly. "Good. I've saved a spot for my precious Hime right here." She pats the spot beside her. "So we can cuddle."

Tatsuki's vein throbs. "Idiot. She's not interested. I can't understand how she's been rejecting you for 4 years now and it still hasn't gotten through to you."

"I admire your persistence Honshō-san. Never give up! Never surrender! Oww! Why'd you kick me Arisawa-san?"

"Because you shouldn't encourage her!" Tatsuki explains impatiently.

Mizuiro tssks disapprovingly at their antics, continuing to stand slightly away from the group and text his latest older girlfriend on his cell phone.

"Hime just needs a push in the right direction. It's senior year. There's nothing to lose. The time is now." Chizuru says, rather ominously in Tatsuki's opinion.

Tatsuki rolls her eyes. "Whatever." The karate champion frowns when she sees a family approaching, ready to set up camp beside them. Space is limited in the small park, and everyone wants to get a good spot for optimal fireworks viewing. "Sorry, we're saving that spot. We have four more friends coming."

The father frowns, but he doesn't put up a fight, walking away to find a new spot.

Keigo rolls off Tatsuki's blanket and stretches out on the patch of grass so their claim is clear. He scratches his leg. "This grass is so itchy. They better hurry up."

Chizuru's face lights up when she hears a familiar giggle. "Speak of the devil. Or in this case, an angel."

Ichigo, Orihime, Chad, and Ishida appear on top of the grassy hill. Ishida and Ichigo are arguing about something, as usual, and Orihime and Chad look amused by the familiar sight. It is nice having Ishida back on their side, after the while ugliness of the now resolved Quincy War.

"Shut up Ishida. I'm not interested in learning any Quincy techniques!" Ichigo bites out, stomping towards the group irritably.

"I don't know why you refuse to even try. Fighting those hollows just now would have gone by way faster if you would just use your Quincy powers." Ishida says calmly. His ability to stay calm in the middle of an argument really irritates Ichigo.

Chizuru ignores the continuing banter between the two frenemies. "Hime! I saved you a spot!" She yells, patting the spot beside her excitedly.

"That's okay Chizuru-chan. We stopped by my apartment and I brought my own blanket! So we'll have lots of room." Orihime replies. Chizuru pouts as Orihime lays out her blanket beside Tatsuki's.

Keigo happily rolls himself back onto Tatsuki's blanket, happy to be off of the grass. Mizuiro finally decides to join the group, taking a seat beside the dejected Chizuru on her blanket. Ishida starts to take off his cape, considering sitting on that. But then he looks at the muddy ground with distaste. It is so hard to get mud stains out of the cape's fabric. He takes a seat on Tatsuki's blanket instead. Ichigo and Chad both take a seat on Orihime's bright green blanket.

Mizuiro smiles nostalgically as he looks out at his group of friends. "Man, how long has it been since we all got to hang out like this?"

Chad thinks back. "Definitely before the Quincy War. So it's been a while."

Orihime smiles. "I'm so glad we're doing this! Only one more semester of high school and then who knows where we'll all be next year?" Orihime says.

"Don't worry Hime! I'll follow you wherever you're going! To the ends of the Earth!" Chizuru offers, reaching across Tatsuki for the pretty healer's hand.

Orihime laughs slightly uncomfortably, moving her hand just out of Chizuru's reach. "That is so sweet Chizuru-chan! But I think I'll be staying right here in Karakura."

Ichigo nods. "Yeah, we talked about it." It was understood that _we_ always meant Ichigo, Orihime, Chad, and Ishida. When you go to hell and back together, it winds up making you close. "Karakura always attracts a lot of hollows, so we should probably be here to fight them."

"Plus, Karakura has some great colleges. Maybe by the time we graduate from college they'll finally find a capable Shinigami to defend this town so we can move." Ishida adds.

Keigo starts crying dramatically. "And no one thought to tell the rest of us?! We might be on the outer fringes of the gang, but we're still in the gang! I've probably missed the deadline to apply to Karakura colleges."

Ichigo raises an eyebrow skeptically. "You're going to college? I just assumed you would stick around here. Maybe work at a grocery store or something…"

"How rude you are Ichigo! Just because I get bad grades doesn't mean I can't go to college!"

"He actually got into Tokyo Tech. I was shocked." Mizuiro quipped.

Keigo turned teary eyes toward Mizuiro. "Shocked!? Why do I even hang out with you guys? You're all so mean!"

"I'm not shocked Asano-san! I always knew you were very capable." Orihime adds sweetly.

Tatsuki scoffs, and Ishida seems to nod in agreement with her skepticism. Chad is silent, which Keigo takes to mean he agrees with the nay-sayers.

"Well if you're so smart where are you going for college Arisawa?" He challenges.

"Osaka University. Full ride karate scholarship." Tatsuki brags.

Orihime smiles at her best friend. "I still can't believe it Tatsuki-chan. I'm so happy for you! But I'm going to miss you terribly! We'll have to skype at least once a week."

Tatsuki smiles. "Osaka isn't far. You can come up to visit me sometimes. We'll go to parties. Meet cute boys." Ichigo frowns at that, causing Tatsuki to smirk as she carries on. "I've heard the guys in Osaka are much more sophisticated than the ones here in Karakura."

Orihime blushes, wanting to defend the men in Karakura but not sure she'll be able to do so without her gaze obviously wandering over to the substitute Shinigami currently sitting quite close to her.

She is saved from having to respond when the spiritually aware friends all feel a tremor. A hollow is nearby. Ichigo immediately leaves his body, it falls back into Orihime's lap, and is propelled into his Shinigami form.

"Do you need help?" Chad asks.

"Nah, stay here and guard our spot. I'll be back soon." Ichigo replies, leaping off to fight the hollow.

Orihime looks down at the head that currently lies in her lap with a slight blush. If everyone else wasn't around, she would be tempted to run her fingers through the tussled orange hair.

…

..

.

Dealing with the hollow took longer than anticipated, because Ichigo actually decided to try to use his Quincy powers. He's terrible at it, which he thought might be the case, which is why he constantly refuses to attempt to use them in front of his friends.

He only manages to defeat the hollow when he reverts to using Zangetsu, but he considers it a victory that he was able to hold his own while attempting to use his long dormant Quincy powers.

By the time he returns to his friends, it has started to get dark so the fireworks are imminent. The park is also jammed back, so he is glad to be able to create reishi footholds and walk over several people, some who he recognizes from school, to reach his group.

They are all chatting amicably when he returns, wearing flower crowns Orihime has fastened for them out of various flower types and colors. Ishida looks ridiculous in his dandelion crown, but Ichigo doesn't say anything. Because she's currently working on another one that must be meant for him, and he assumes he will look even more ridiculous than Ishida since his appears to be made out of roses.

He slips back into his body, blinking up at Orihime from his position using her lap as a pillow. She smiles down at him. "Are you okay? Any injuries you need me to heal? You were gone for a while."

"No, I'm fine." He assures, sitting up when he realizes he is still in her lap.

She finishes tying the last rose in and presents him with his crown. "Here you go Kurosaki-kun! It is specially designed for your hair color."

He takes it and reluctantly puts it on. He shoots a glare at Mizuiro when the black haired teen chuckles, mumbling something about roses being a symbol of love.

"Where's your crown?" He asks.

"Oh. I ran out of flowers." She responds with a shrug.

He takes his off and places it on her head.

"But that was specifically designed for your shade of hair Kurosaki-kun!"

"But we have pretty similar hair colors. I think it works on you." He replies. It does look good on her. Plus, he doesn't want to wear it. He has an image he has carefully constructed and flower crowns contradict said image.

"It definitely works on you Hime! You look like a bohemian goddess! Such a pretty white dress you're wearing. You look even better than you do in your school uniform!" Chizuru praises, leaning over Tatsuki until the black haired girl roughly shoves her back.

The group is startled by several camera flashes.

"Ah! Inoue-senpai is so cute!" One second year student says to his friend.

"Cute?! She's stunning! Like an idol!" Another adds.

"Just look at her in that flower crown. Be still my heart!" A third comments loudly.

More camera flashes go off as the students take pictures for their Inoue Orihime photo collection.

Orihime blushes, embarrassed, and takes the flower crown off.

"Well if it's not the Orihime fan club." Tatsuki remarks dryly, taking off her own lilac crown since Orihime basically gave her permission by taking hers off. Plus, Tatsuki isn't really a flower crown kind of girl.

"You know they actually have meetings? Wednesdays after school in the gym. I saw a flyer in the boy's locker room." Keigo comments.

Orihime's blush intensifies. "How embarrassing." She mutters.

"They're the ones who should be embarrassed. Shamelessly snapping photos with flash." Ishida criticizes.

"Well, can you blame them? Hime is gorgeous! I actually went to a meeting of the fan club once. Everyone was so jealous that I've actually spoken to you! I told them you are nice, that they could talk to you, but I think they're all too intimidated." Chizuru says.

Ichigo glares in the direction of the younger boys, and their excited chatter immediately quiets. "Losers." He mutters.

"You know Ichigo, you have fans too." Tatsuki gestures behind her with a tilt of her head, where some freshmen girls are staring at him. When caught, they all blush and try to look away, giggling all the while.

Ichigo glares at them as well. "Since when are girls at our school not afraid of me?"

"Since Yuzu started telling them all the rumors about you being in a gang are a lie, and that you're really a sweetheart." Tatsuki answers.

Ichigo whirls around to look at his longtime friend. "Seriously? Damn it! Why would she do that? The image I have carefully been creating, ruined!"

Chad pats his friend's back reassuringly. "You had a good run Ichigo." He comforts in his deep rumbling voice.

Keigo stopped picking at blades of grass, lying on his stomach with one hand supporting his head. "Why don't I have a fan club?" Keigo complains.

"Probably because you are not very attractive." Mizuiro answers, yelping when Keigo throws his discarded sandal at his head.

"I am too attractive! At least as attractive as Ichigo! I bet girls only like him more because of the whole super powers thing."

Tatsuki raises an eyebrow skeptically. "The super powers thing that no one knows about besides us and a bunch of dead people?"

Keigo ignores that valid point. "Besides, it's not like he's capable of actually using his 'supposed' attractiveness to actually get a girlfriend."

"I don't have time for a girlfriend." Ichigo argues, fighting down his blush at the turn in the conversation. Orihime looks crestfallen for a second, but Ichigo doesn't notice.

"Being attractive doesn't automatically mean it's easy for you to get into a relationship. Look at Hime! Has she ever had a boyfriend? No! And look at her! It's not like she couldn't get one. Could it be, that the problem is she doesn't need a good man, but a good woman?" Chizuru pointedly looks at Orihime as she finishes her thought.

Orihime blushes again. How much more blood does she have in her body to continue rushing to her face? She twirls the end of her hair nervously. "Maybe I just need to wait for the right guy to come along?"

"You and Ichigo would be an attractive couple." Chad says, seemingly out of nowhere.

"Sado-kun!" Orihime chokes out, embarrassed, but still watching for Ichigo's reaction to the statement.

Ichigo blushes, much like he did when Chad forced him to talk about Orihime's outfit during the war. He is saved from having to say anything when Keigo interrupts.

"Hmm…they would be an attractive couple. But out of the two of them, who is more attractive?" Keigo taps his chin thoughtfully.

"What do you mean?" Tatsuki asks.

"When they walk down the street, who would people think is the one dating up? Who's hotter?" Keigo clarifies.

Ichigo rolls his eyes. "This is so stupid. Can't we talk about something else?" He is ignored.

"Well, I would say Inoue is obviously more attractive. Based on general standards of beauty, like facial symmetry." Ishida answers. Orihime's blush intensifies.

"Of course it's Hime! Look at her! And then look at him! No contest!" Chizuru adds. Ichigo scowls. Look at him? What does that mean?

"You know, I have to disagree." Keigo begins. Everyone looks at him in disbelief. "Wait, hear me out. Not judging at all by sexual desire, since I'm not gay and I would definitely have sex with Orihime if the opportunity presented itself." He winks at Orihime, and Ichigo has to resist his urge to punch his chatty friend's teeth out. "But I think Ichigo is actually hotter from a purely unbiased, unsexual, standpoint. Look at his jaw line!" Everyone turns to look, and Ichigo glares at them all for even entertaining this ridiculousness.

"Hmm…I'd probably say Ichigo too. No offense Orihime, and maybe I just can't be as impartial as Keigo since I'm not a lesbian, but Ichigo is obviously an attractive guy. I think of him like a brother, but you did say from an unsexual standpoint. And if we're also counting body, killing all those hollows has led to the development of some nice abs."

"Tatsuki-chan! You're embarrassing Kurosaki-kun!" Orihime complains, and Ichigo is turning bright red.

"I disagree. Especially if we're also considering bodies. Inoue is petite, but she has curves in all the right places! She's hotter. No offense Ichigo." Mizuiro claims. Ichigo is definitely taking offense to Mizuiro talking about Inoue's curves, but he could care less that Mizuiro doesn't think he's hotter than Inoue. Ichigo doesn't think there's anyone hotter than Inoue, and he's including Rangiku in that estimation.

"Chad?" Keigo prompts.

"Hmm…it's pretty close." Chad begins.

"Can we please change the subject?" Orihime practically begs. Tatsuki waves her off, really enjoying how uncomfortable the red heads currently are. Besides, the two obviously need a push to finally talk about their respective feelings.

"I'm going to say Ichigo." Chad finally responds.

"A tie? That's ridiculous! I feel like everyone who voted Kurosaki is biased! And blind!" Chizuru yells.

"Who's going to break the tie? We need to ask people who know both, and can be as impartial as possible." Keigo mutters.

"Soul society people." Mizuiro suggests.

"Great idea! Hmm…how do we contact them? Do you have some special walkie talkie? Oh! Can I just talk into your badge? Are they still using that to spy on you?" Keigo asks.

Ichigo scowls. Why does he tell Keigo things?

"Urahara-san added an app to our phones which lets us contact people in soul society." Chad reveals.

"Then what are you waiting for? Let's break this tie!"

Chad slowly types a text message. With his size, it is always difficult to hit the right letter on the small cell phone. "Sent." He announces.

Orihime fiddles with her discarded flower crown and Ichigo continues to glare at his so-called friends. If they had just asked him, he could have voted Orihime and broken this stupid tie without getting anyone else involved.

Chad's phone vibrates as responses pour in.

"Rukia says Ichigo. Renji says Orihime. Shinji votes Orihime. Nemu votes Ichigo." Chad recounts.

Keigo frowns. "They are all voting down gender lines. Did you explain this is not based on sexual attraction, and they can't vote on personality or likeability? This is strictly based on hotness. Let me see your phone." Chad hands it over. "You literally just texted, 'who's hotter, Ichigo or Inoue?' They have no context! These results are void. I'm going to send a text that actually explains what we are doing here." Keigo, with his small nimble fingers, has the lengthy text written in no time. He sends it to all the contacts on the phone. "And now, we wait."

The group isn't waiting long. The phone vibrates with the new votes.

"Renji still says Orihime. Rukia still says Ichigo. Shinji still says Orihime, but now Nemu has changed her vote to Orihime as well! See? Context is important." Keigo explains.

The phone vibrates again and this time Mizuiro takes it and reads the results. "Rangiku says Orihime. Hisagi says Ichigo. Kenpachi says Ichigo. Yachiru says Ichigo. We're tied again!"

"Would you guys cut it out? You're starting to piss me off." Ichigo growls.

"Yeah, let's talk about something else. What do you guys think of sensei's new haircut?" Orihime tries, and fails, to change the subject.

"Hmm…maybe what we need to do is just decide this between the six of us here. And it has to be a unanimous decision!" Keigo suggests.

Everyone, besides the two people being discussed, nods in agreement.

"This should probably be divided into subsections. Like who has the better face?" Keigo asks.

Everyone looks at the two, and opinions start to pour in. Ichigo and Orihime try to tune them out as much as possible.

"This is so stupid." Ichigo mutters to Orihime as their friends decide whose face is better.

"Yeah, hopefully the fireworks start soon and they stop talking." Orihime responds.

"Ok, so we unanimously agree Orihime has the better face?" Chizuru summarizes after what feels like an hour long debate. Everyone nods. "Ok then, should we judge body parts separately or just body as a whole?" Chizuru asks.

"As a whole." Ishida answers.

The six begin their debate, and it starts to get heated. Ichigo and Orihime watch on, mortified.

"How can you say that?" Keigo yells after Ishida insists Ichigo's abs aren't that great. Keigo forcefully lifts Ichigo's white t-shirt up to his chest.

"Hey!" Ichigo yells, throwing an elbow at Keigo and tugging his shirt back down.

"Orihime has abs too. They're not as defined as Ichigo's, obviously, but women and men have different muscle buildup!" Tatsuki argues.

"Hime, lift your dress! We must see your abs!" Chizuru insists.

Orihime sputters and turns bright red.

Chizuru makes a lunge for Orihime but Tatsuki stops her with a strong uppercut. "Pervert! Besides, that's totally unnecessary. I have some pictures on my phone from when we went to the water park last weekend."

"Tatsuki-chan!" Orihime whines as the 'hotness committee', trademarked by Keigo, gathers around the device to scrutinize Orihime in her bikini. Ichigo has to fight his urge to glance at the phone himself.

"Yep. I see abs. Subtle, but there." Keigo says.

The committee goes back to their discussions, ignoring all of Ichigo's and Orihime's insistences that enough is enough already.

"So we're unanimously saying Ichigo?" Keigo asks. Everyone nods, though Chizuru does it begrudgingly.

"So now what? Orihime won face, Ichigo won body. How do we decide?" Mizuiro questions.

"I guess we have to go with total package. Whose looks could dazzle a complete stranger?" Keigo ponders.

Chad lights up. "Riruka fell to the floor after seeing Ichigo for the first time."

Ichigo glares at his best friend. That wasn't something he wanted out there for the world to know.

"Tsukishima's little sidekick, Shishigawara, was it? He couldn't even bring himself to attack Inoue-san, completely dazzled by her beauty." Ishida adds.

Orihime blushes. Maybe she shouldn't have told him about that. But at the time, he was the only one who had been attacked by whom they had all assumed was Tsukishima.

"You know what we need to do? Find a stranger in this park. Someone who is bisexual. Or asexual. Asexual is probably better. Then, we need to make them choose between Ichigo and Orihime." Chizuru suggests.

"And how are we supposed to find this person? Just ask random people if they're bisexual?" Tatsuki asks skeptically.

"Well do you have a better idea?" Chizuru challenges.

"I have a better idea. How about all of you guys just shut up?" Ichigo proposes.

Just then, the fireworks start. Ichigo sighs in relief as everyone's attention is diverted.

Several moments later, when the show is reaching its climax, Orihime lightly taps his shoulder. He turns to look at her. She blushes shyly, absentmindedly playing with the rose flower crown. "Just for the record, I would have voted for you Kurosaki-kun."

Ichigo blushes, but forces himself to say, "And I would have voted for you. So I guess there really is no way to break this tie, huh?"

…

..

.

A/N: Let me know if you guys want more of this! I feel like it could stand as a one-shot, but it could also be a multi chapter story! Not long, like 5 or 6 chapters.

Please review and let me know what you think!


	2. Mirror Mirror

A/N: The story continues! Glad you guys liked it! Thank you to everyone who reviewed! I think 16 is the most reviews I've ever gotten for one chapter, so that was very exciting. Also, thank you to everyone who favorited and alerted.

 **Chapter 2: Mirror Mirror**

…

..

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Riruka burps loudly after finishing her sandwich, ignoring the disgusted looks of fellow Ikea restaurant patrons. The pink haired former Xcution member gulps down the rest of her soda before standing up and walking back towards the kitchen aisles, leaving her trash as someone else's problem.

Riruka is walking by the display bedrooms, minding her own business, when out of nowhere she is attacked.

"Aah!" The startled girl yells, flailing wildly against whoever just pulled her into this fluffy pink canopy bed, complete with sparkly curtains. In the part of her mind that isn't busy panicking, Riruka notes that it is a cute bed. Something that she could definitely use her dollhouse fullbring ability on.

"Oww Riruka-chan! You bit me!" Orihime removes her hand from Riruka's mouth and inspects the slightly bruised flesh.

Oh. So she isn't being kidnapped. She is just being held captive by an airhead. "What the hell! You can't just grab people, cover their mouths, and pull them into bed with you! That's sexual assault!" Riruka complains.

Orihime tilts her head curiously, and Riruka is momentarily annoyed at how cute the other girl looks. "Is it? Tatsuki-chan and I always have our hearts to hearts in bed. Usually with ice cream. In our pajamas. It's cozy. No ice cream today though. I asked an employee and she said they would throw me out of the store." Orihime states.

Riruka takes a good look at Orihime. The girl is actually in pajamas. The mushroom ones from Ichigo's fullbring training. Did she actually walk to the Ikea in pajamas?

Riruka puts the pajama questions out of her mind and focuses on the conversation at hand. "Sounds a little lesbian-y to me." Riruka informs.

"That's what Chizuru-chan said! And then she made me promise to invite her to the next heart to heart chat. I guess I could have invited her today, but I really just wanted to talk to you Riruka-chan."

Riruka raises an eyebrow skeptically. "About what? Also, how did you know I was here at Ikea? I'm trying to furnish my new apartment, who has time for your silly problems?"

Orihime's face lights up. "I felt your reiatsu and followed it! And imagine my delight when I realized you were at an Ikea complete with perfect beds for heart to hearts! Luckily, my pajamas were in my purse. And I'm so glad you're back in town Riruka-chan! I missed you!"

Riruka blushes, not used to people caring about her or her whereabouts. "Yeah." She finally responds, unable to say aloud that she missed the healer too.

Orihime doesn't seem bothered by the lack of verbal reciprocation. "Can I ask you something Riruka-chan?"

Riruka makes herself comfortable, grabbing a pillow to sit on as she and Orihime sit crossed leg on the bed facing each other. "Shoot."

"Do you think Kurosaki-kun is hot?"

Riruka feels her cheeks burning. She was not expecting that question. "I..uh..well…he's…..well, you don't need to worry about me trying to steal your man or anything."

Now, Orihime is the one to blush. Riruka resents the fact that Orihime's face prettily fills with color, almost like a store bought blush, while she's pretty sure she herself currently resembles a tomato.

Orihime waves her hands frantically. "Kurosaki-kun isn't my man, we're just friends."

Riruka looks at the girl dubiously. "Dude. Everyone knows you guys totally have a thing."

"Wait, who's everyone?" Orihime asks.

Riruka gestures all around her. "Everyone." She repeats.

"We're just friends…but, you don't think it would be crazy for us to be more than friends? You don't think Kurosaki-kun is way out of my league? With his face, and his abs, and he's a super hero! And-"

Riruka cuts her off. "Okay. What is this about?"

Orihime recounts the conversation that took place the other night at the park. Riruka blushes when her first reaction to Ichigo comes up.

"Chad is exaggerating. I didn't fall to the floor. It was more like a slow slump." She tries to deflect.

Orihime smiles sadly. "The first time I saw Kurosaki-kun, I was carrying my dying brother to the closest clinic I could find. But had it been under different circumstances, I might have fallen to the floor too."

Riruka is forever amazed at how Orihime can talk about such tragedies so freely. But Riruka is not the mushy feely type. If that's what Orihime wants, she should go find that Tatsuki chick. Riruka steers the conversation back to safer waters, and Orihime finishes recounting the past evening's events.

"So you wanted to ask me which of you guys I think is hotter?" Riruka asks.

Orihime shakes her head no. "No, I came to talk to you because you're the only other person I know who likes Kurosaki-kun! I already know Kurosaki-kun is more attractive. I don't think there is anyone more attractive than Kurosaki-kun."

"Akanishi Jin." Riruka suggests.

"I don't see it." Orihime responds.

"Zayn Malik." Riruka tries again.

"He is very attractive, but not as attractive as Kurosaki-kun." Orihime insists.

"Man, you have got it back." Riruka determines.

"Riruka-chaaan, you didn't let me finish. I wanted to talk to you because Kurosaki-kun said something to me, I think just because I said something first, but now I think I have some false hope. Tatsuki-chan always insists that I just need to make the first move, but I don't think I'm worthy of Kurosaki-kun. He'd probably reject me, nicely of course, but we would never be able to have the same kind of friendship we have now. I value Kurosaki-kun's friendship too much to jeopardize it. Since you like Kurosaki-kun too and realize how great he is I was hoping you would understand why I can't possibly tell him about my feelings and-"

Riruka interrupts again. "Not worthy? Are you stupid?"

Orihime crosses her arms over her bountiful chest, frowning. "That's not very nice Riruka-chan."

"Wow. You're as oblivious as he is. What was it that he said that gave you 'false hope'?" Riruka captioned 'false hope' with over the top air quotes, letting Orihime know how ridiculous she is currently being.

Orihime blushes, twisting her fingers together nervously. "Well, after their vote ended in a tie, I told Kurosaki-kun that I would have voted for him for the hottest. But he said he would have voted for me."

"He was totally flirting with you! How can you not see that?" Riruka asks.

"Because he was probably just trying to be nice! Kurosaki-kun is always really nice." Orihime insists.

"He's only nice to you." Riruka counters.

"That's not true. After I said I would vote for him, he had to say he would have voted for me. After all, Kurosaki-kun isn't the kind of egomaniac to vote for himself. Hey Riruka-chan, do you think politicians vote for themselves?"

"Focus Orihime." Riruka snaps, tapping her chin thoughtfully. "So, you can't believe that Ichigo would think you're more attractive than he is?"

Orihime nods vigorously. "It's clearly ridiculous!"

Riruka grabs the older girl's hand, dragging her roughly out of bed. Orihime stumbles as Riruka strides determinedly to an unknown destination.

"Riruka-chan, where are we going?"

Riruka ignores her question, turning a corner and keeping a tight grip on Orihime's hand. Eventually, she stops in front of a full length mirror in the bathroom section. She positions Orihime directly in front of the mirror.

"Now, what do you see?" Riruka says.

Orihime eyes herself in the mirror. "Umm…me?"

Riruka taps her foot impatiently. "More specifically!"

Orihime looks into the mirror again. "Umm…I still just see me Riruka-chan. I don't get it."

Riruka throws her hands up, exasperated. "You're supposed to see that you're hot!" Riruka grips Orihime's chin, keeping her head facing the mirror. "Look at your hair! It's so long and silky! And your eyes! They're so big and expressive! Speaking of big things, your boobs are massive!"

"Riruka-chan!" Orihime chides, embarrassed.

"You're so skinny! Even though you eat so much. It's actually really annoying that all that fat seems to go straight to your boobs. And it's not just your looks. You're really nice. Everyone likes you. That's not a trait a lot of people have. Especially not Ichigo. He's such a punk."

Orihime frees her chin from Riruka's grasp and frowns down at the other girl. "Kurosaki-kun is not a punk. He's…perfect."

"But you're perfect too! Watch this." Riruka grabs a passing teenage store clerk. "Excuse me sir, my friend here is having a crisis. Do you think she's attractive?"

Orihime blushes, avoiding eye contact with Riruka and the clerk. "Riruka-chan! How embarrassing."

The store clerk nods resolutely. "Definitely attractive. One of the most beautiful girls I've ever seen, in fact. Hey, I get off work in 15 minutes if you want to-"

Riruka pushes the clerk away. "Move along dude. She's taken."

Orihime turns completely away from the mirror. "You didn't have to do that."

"I obviously did. I also clearly need to break this tie to give you the self-confidence to tell Ichigo about your feelings." Riruka pulls out her cell phone.

"Oh no. Not this again." Orihime replies.

"You've left me no choice. Let's see, we need people who know both of you guys, who've seen you recently. An odd number would be good, to make sure it won't be a tie. Hmmm…who to ask…got it!" Riruka quickly types up her group text, sending it out to the selected recipients. "And now, we wait."

They don't wait long. The phone text message jingle goes off and Riruka reads the response excitedly.

"Yukio says 'Inoue is way hotter. She looks like one of those girls from those virtual girlfriend games. The ones losers become addicted to'". Riruka reads. The phone jingles again. "That's Grimmjow."

"You asked Grimmjow?!" Orihime asks in embarrassed disbelief.

"What? He knows both you guys. I like Grimmjow. We exchanged numbers during the whole Quincy War thing. He's a cool guy. Grimmjow says 'Kurosaki isn't attractive at all. Orihime wins by a mile. I like her new style too. You know, showing everything. Girl has great boobs.'" Riruka reads.

Orihime hides her face behind her hands, completely mortified. "I still can't believe Urahara-san did that to me. So embarrassing. I looked like a pervert."

The phone vibrates with the final response. "Nel votes Ichigo. That's not too much of a surprise though. But look, you won! Tie broken. You're hot enough, and more importantly good enough, for him. Probably too good for him actually, but the heart wants what it wants. Go get him, tiger!" Riruka encourages.

Orihime removes her hands from her face. "You really think I have a shot?"

"Only one way to find out." Riruka answers.

Orihime looks back into the floor length mirror resolutely, seemingly appraising herself, steeling herself. "Okay. I'm going to tell him. Maybe tomorrow."

"No! Today! Right now! Before you chicken out and talk yourself out of it. But, you should change. You look crazy walking around in pajamas."

Orihime pouts. "But they're so comfortable!"

"Change. Then go to his house. Then don't say anything, just kiss him. Actions speak louder than words."

"I can't do that! You can't just kiss someone out of nowhere!"

"It's not out of nowhere. You've been in love with him for what, like 10 years?" Riruka exaggerates.

"More like 4. Wow, that is a long time. Maybe it is time to do something about it." Orihime realizes.

"That's the spirit!" Riruka cheers.

Orihime smiles. "Thank you Riruka-chan!" She engulfs the smaller girl in one of her legendary bear hugs.

Orihime runs off toward the exit.

"Hey Orihime!" Riruka yells. The girl turns around, hair whipping around her like she is straight out of a shampoo commercial or something. "I'll call you when I'm ready to move into my new apartment. I could use your shield to move things up the stairs. Bring your soon-to-be boyfriend too. He can put those muscles to good use moving things where I want them in the apartment."

Orihime smiles and nods, waving as she runs out.

Riruka forwards all the texts to Chad. After all, it is important to keep the 'hotness committee' in the loop.

…

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A/N: Hope you guys liked this as much as the first chapter! Please review! I'll try to update again soon!


	3. On The Wall

A/N: Thank you to everyone who reviewed the last chapter! I love hearing what you guys think. Also, thank you to the people who favorited and alerted.

 **Chapter 3: On the Wall**

"Can I ask you something?"

The unexpected question causes Karin to look up from the soccer magazine she is reading. Her tall brother leans against the doorway of her room, shifting nervously and avoiding direct eye contact with her.

Karin raises a brow. "About what?"

Ichigo is obviously tense, he's even somewhat jittery. This is a side of Ichigo Karin isn't used to seeing. His obvious unease makes her anxious as well. He shoves his hands in the pockets of his loose fitting black track pants, staring at the floor. "Something you said."

Karin drops the magazine on her mattress, leans back and rests her weight on her arms. "Ok."

Ichigo slowly straightens up, gives it some thought and then closes the door behind him. He sits directly across from her, on Yuzu's bed. He makes himself comfortable, clasping his hands over his lap and leaning forward. Right before he speaks, he finally looks directly into her eyes. His intense stare unnerves her.

"The first time I brought Rukia home, well, the first time you guys knew I brought her home, Yuzu and Dad freaked out about me bringing a girl home. But you didn't. You said you wouldn't be impressed until I brought home a girl on Inoue's level. Do you remember that?"

Karin snorts, surprised and a little relieved that this is all he wants to ask her about. "Vaguely. That was like three years ago. Why are you even still thinking about that?" Ichigo doesn't respond, just shrugs nonchalantly. "I guess you proved me wrong though. You bring Orihime home with you all the time now."

Ichigo shifts uncomfortably. "That wasn't what you meant though, was it?"

"Huh?" Karin prods.

Ichigo looks at her for a split second before looking away, out the window. Wait, was he blushing? "Inoue comes over as my friend. Usually with Chad and Ishida. Because we all somehow got dragged into this Shinigami business and we fight together. But when you said that, you meant you would be impressed if I brought home a girl like Inoue as more than a friend, right?"

Karin tugs at her collar, wondering why Ichigo is coming to her with girl problems. This definitely seems more like Yuzu's arena.

Just as the thought of Yuzu crosses her mind, a sneeze is heard behind the door. Ichigo rolls her eyes, stalking over to the door with long legged strides and throwing it open before Yuzu has a chance to retreat.

Yuzu smiles sheepishly, carefully lowering the glass she was using to spy on them behind her back. "How are you today brother?"

"Spare me. You might as well join us, since you were obviously spying anyway." Ichigo replies.

Yuzu beams happily, grasping Ichigo's hand and dragging him back over to his prior position on her bed. Yuzu sits next to her twin, making herself comfortable on the less familiar mattress before gesturing for the two to continue.

"I guess that is what I meant." Karin answers.

Ichigo nods thoughtfully. "And you would have been impressed because a girl like Orihime is out of my league, right?"

"Okay, I feel like we need some context. Where is this coming from?" Karin finally asks.

Ichigo sighs, running a hand through his hair irritably. "It all started Friday when that moron Keigo decided to ask everyone who is better looking, me or Inoue."

Ichigo recounts the whole ordeal to his sisters, finally reaching his conclusion. He looks like he doesn't want to tell them, but he really needs their advice. "But after the vote ended in a tie, Inoue said she would have voted for me." He's blushing, despite his intense struggle to fight down said blush, but both of his sisters are kind enough not to mention it.

"And what did you say?" Yuzu prods.

His blush intensifies. He's staring out the window again. At first, it seems like he is not going to answer. But eventually he mutters, "I said I would have voted for her, so the vote is still tied."

Yuzu squeals in delight, and both of her siblings glare at her. She quiets, looking at them apologetically. "You can't deny that it's cute though Karin-chan! Onii-chan and Orihime-senpai flirting!"

Ichigo scoffs. "She wasn't flirting. Inoue is just nice like that. She would never vote for herself for anything."

Karin rolls her eyes. "She was definitely flirting. And you flirted back."

Ichigo glares. "I wasn't flirting. I was just stating a fact. Inoue is better looking than me."

"Hotter." Yuzu corrects. "The question was who is hotter."

"Fine. I think she's hot. Happy?" He says irritably.

"I'd be happier if you would just admit to us that you like her." Yuzu replies.

"I don't. She's a friend." Ichigo insists.

"If you don't like her, why are you so concerned with whether or not I think she is out of your league?" Karin asks.

Ichigo doesn't have a good response for that one, he himself doesn't know why he has been replaying Friday's conversation over and over for the last day, why it is bothering him so much. "I was just curious, is all." He finally responds.

"She likes you too, you know." Yuzu informs him.

"She doesn't. She's just really nice to everyone. You don't even really know her." Ichigo replies defensively.

"She doesn't need to really know her. It's obvious that she likes you. It literally takes being around you guys for 5 minutes to figure it out." Karin adds.

Yuzu nods enthusiastically. "I can't believe you didn't know, onii-chan! All this time I thought you pretended not to notice her feelings because you weren't interested and didn't know how to turn her down." Yuzu admits.

"But it turns out he just has zero ability to read basic human emotions." Karin adds.

"Turn her down? Me? Turn _her_ down?" Ichigo parrots in disbelief.

"Well, I never could understand _why_ you would want to turn her down, but you honestly not knowing that Orihime-chan likes you never crossed my mind! She's so obvious! Did none of your friends ever say anything to you?" Yuzu asks.

Ichigo thinks back. "Well, now that you mention it Chad definitely tries to push us together. And Yoruichi. Hat and Clogs too, I guess. But they're all just reading too much into her natural friendliness. I'm pretty sure she doesn't like me." Ichigo insists.

Karin looks pointedly at her twin. "He's hopeless."

"No! We can't give up on him! For Orihime-chan's sake!" Yuzu insists.

Ichigo ignores their responses. "Why would someone like Inoue like someone like me?" Ichigo questions.

"What do you mean someone like you?" Karin asks.

"Someone like me who has a short temper, who constantly gets into fights, who sometimes turns into a monster and kills with no mercy. Someone who's not as smart as she is, who's not as kind as she is, who's-" Yuzu interrupts Ichigo's insecurity rant.

"You're a good person onii-chan! Stop putting yourself down." Yuzu insists, looking as if she's near tears because of his self-criticism.

Karin nods. "You saved her. You saved everyone. Doesn't that count for something?"

"I have nothing to offer her, besides my protection, which she already has as my friend. Even if I did like her, which I'm not saying I do, I'm not good enough for her. I don't deserve her. You were right three years ago Karin. She was, and is, out of my league."

Karin stands abruptly. "That's it. Get up."

Her tone leaves no room for negotiation, so Ichigo gets to his feet. Karin walks out the room without another word, and both of her siblings follow her determined path. They go down the stairs and into the living room.

Karin stops directly in front of the 'Masaki Forever' poster prominently displayed on the wall.

"There. On the wall. What do you see?"

Ichigo quirks an eyebrow. "Mom?"

"Exactly! Now, do you think there is anyway in Hell that Goat Chin 'deserved' mom?" Karin asks.

"I heard my name!" Isshin merrily appears in the doorway, wearing an apron. "My beautiful children! Are you singing my praises?"

"No. We were just talking about how Mom was way out of your league." Yuzu replies.

Isshin frowns. "You've gotten so mean since entering high school! What happened to my little girl who was sweet as sugar? This is Ichigo's fault, isn't it? The boy's blatant disrespect has rubbed off on my girls!"

Ichigo basically pretends his father isn't there, despite all the noise he is making. "What's your point?" He asks Karin.

"Isn't it obvious?! Sometimes love doesn't make sense! It's not about who's on your level, or what they can offer you. Sometimes you just fall in love and everyone else might look at you guys and think 'what is she doing with him?', but it doesn't matter to her because she loves you!" Karin explains.

"Whoa whoa whoa! Why would you go to your sisters instead of me with a question about love? They don't have boyfriends! They've never even been on a date! I am the master of love in this household! What is the situation?" Isshin asks.

"None of your business." Ichigo replies moodily. How did this turn into a family discussion?

"Maybe he's right though. He is the only one with experience in love." Yuzu reasons. "Ok, so it all started when onii-chan was in the park with his friends…"

When Yuzu finishes recounting the story, Isshin nods thoughtfully.

"So, what do you think?" Karin prods when he remains silent.

"Orihime-chan has been taken in by the irresistible Shiba charm! This is a common occurrence. It's how I got your mother! Well, that and my good looks!" Isshin responds.

"What good looks?" Karin asks cruelly.

"So mean! And from you Karin, who looks so much like me!" Isshin complains. He runs to the portrait of Masaki displayed prominently on the wall. "Oh my lovely Masaki! What have I done to make our children forsake me?"

"But really Dad. You have to know you got lucky getting Mom. There's no way you deserved her." Ichigo adds.

Isshin stops wailing over the Masaki poster, becoming uncharacteristically serious. "Love isn't about what or who we deserve. Love makes you crazy and irrational. Maybe she is out of your league. Orihime-chan is very pretty, and caring, and smart. But shouldn't we always aim out of our leagues? You know what they say. Shoot for the stars!"

Ichigo scoffed. "I never even said I liked her! Besides, shoot for the stars? So I can let myself get shot down?"

"Ichigo, we all know you like her. Well, maybe you don't know, but everyone else does. Furthermore, she won't shoot you down! Sure, Orihime-chan is a catch. But you're a catch too!" Isshin insists. He turns back toward the Masaki poster, smiling wistfully. "After all, half of you comes from her."

Yuzu gasps. "I know!"

"What?" Karin asks.

"We just need to prove to Ichi-nii that he's a catch too! We need to break the 'who is hotter?' tie!" Yuzu suggests.

Isshin pats her head in praise. "Great idea Yuzu! So smart! Just like your mother." Isshin pulls out his phone and starts texting.

Ichigo immediately has traumatic flashbacks of the last time he was around an idiot texting on his cell phone. "Who are you texting?" He asks angrily.

"Just some old friends who can help us break this tie!" Isshin replies. "And….sent."

Almost immediately, Isshin's cell phone rings. After looking at the caller ID, he puts it on speaker. "Kisuke!"

Ichigo's vein throbs at his father's joyful declaration. He called Urahara?!

"Hello hello Kurosaki-san! I just got your text. Luckily, I recently invented a new device that can detect and analyze physical attractiveness. Now, I collect hair samples from everyone who comes into my shop so I just need to find samples from the two lovebirds…" Shuffling is heard as Urahara searches for the hair.

"You can't be serious." Karin says.

"Kurosaki-chan! Long time no talk. Just because your brother has his powers back doesn't mean you can't still come to the store every once in a while!" Urahara says.

"I don't come to your store because you do creepy things like invent hotness detectors and steal people's hair." Karin responds.

"The hotness detector isn't creepy! You never know when an old friend is going to send you a text message asking, who is hotter? Aha! I found the orange hairs in question! Now let me just put them in the vials…"

Glass clattering is followed by some sort of explosion. Urahara's coughs are heard through the phone. "Hmm…I'm not sure I completely agree but it's hard to argue with my own invention. The results indicate Kurosaki-san is hotter. Congratulations Kurosaki-san!" Urahara chimes.

"Is that Ichigo? Isshin just texted me." Yoruichi's voice says.

Ichigo shakes his head in disbelief. Great. His dad dragged Yoruichi into this too.

The phone is handed from Urahara to Yoruichi. "Ichigo is hotter. Orihime is cuter. You guys would make a really cute couple. Too bad you're such a spineless, emotionally distant, naïve, coward." Yoruichi responds.

Ichigo glares at the phone. Wasn't this supposed to be about making him feel better about himself?

Yoruichi hangs up before he can respond. The cell phone chimes with a text message alert. Isshin reads eagerly.

"A vote for Orihime-chan. But 2 to 1 you win! Tie broken! Yay! The Shiba charm wins again!" Isshin celebrates loudly, pulling all his children into a hug.

Ichigo shoves him away. "Who was the last person?" He demands to know.

"Ishida Ryuuken! I wouldn't take him voting against you personally though. I think it might just be because he doesn't like me very much." Isshin replies. "Oh! I almost forgot. I should let your friend know about the new votes! Give me your phone boy! I don't have Sado's number."

Ichigo is about to refuse when Karin says "I just texted him." Her phone chimes. She reads Chad's response aloud. "Riruka sent in some votes too. It's 9-9."

Ichigo frowns in confusion. How is Riruka part of this? Is Orihime asking for advice too? And if so, does she actually like him?

The doorbell rings. Yuzu checks through the peephole. "It's Orihime-chan!" She says excitedly. She practically skips back over to Ichigo, smoothing out his graphic t-shirt before practically pushing him out of the door.

It slams shut behind him, and suddenly he and Orihime are all alone. They both stare at each other for a long moment, seemingly not knowing what to say.

"Inoue-" He looks down at the finger that she has just placed on his lips.

She's blushing, causing her face to match the red sundress she is wearing. "Close your eyes."

He does as he is told. And he waits. And waits. Eventually, he cracks an eye open. She's still standing in the same spot, but her eyes are closed as well, hands balled into her dress so tightly her knuckles are starting to turn white. She's slowly leaning towards him. She's going to kiss him, he realizes suddenly. His heart hammers in his chest. He had no idea how much he wants this, how much he wants her, until this very moment. He closes his eyes again. He waits for an impact that never comes.

Eventually, she lets out a soft sob and his eyes snap open. "I can't. I really can't." She cries, tears welling up in her eyes.

She's about to run away, he knows it. And they'll never be able to go back to this moment. They'll both make excuses. They'll stick to their comfortable friendship. They won't dare ask for anything more. He doesn't want that.

His arm shoots out to stop her. He grips her forearm, tugging her closer.

"Kurosaki-kun-"

He interrupts whatever she is about to say with a kiss. It's gentle, tentative, a little awkward since it is a first for both, but Ichigo thinks it says everything that they were never able to say aloud.

He pulls away, and frowns when he sees she is pouting.

Was she not going to kiss him? Did he read that all wrong? Is he a bad kisser?

His fears are quieted when she admits. "I wanted to do that. Be the one to kiss you, I mean. Riruka-chan gave me this great pep talk, and then I chickened out."

He smirks. "If it makes you feel better, I never would have done it if you hadn't initiated it. But if you want to, we can do it again. A do over. And this time, you can kiss me."

She smiles, and he thinks he must have done something really great in a past life to get so lucky.

Inside, Isshin smirks as he watches through the peephole. He turns to look at the Masaki poster on the wall.

"We are going to have beautiful red headed grandchildren one day Masaki."

…

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A/N: Hope you liked this chapter!

If you did, please review! I'll try to update the next chapter soon!


	4. Who's The Fairest of Them All?

A/N: 40 reviews?! You guys are the greatest! I've been pretty swamped lately and not very motivated to write, but your reviews inspired me to get this chapter out. Also, thanks for the favorites and follows!

 **Chapter 4: Who's The Fairest of Them All?**

The train station is fairly quiet so late at night. Crickets chirping, luggage carts rolling, and the distant sound of a departing train's whistle is all that is heard. That is, until the hordes of people trying to get home from tonight's Tokyo Stadium concert arrive.

The group of Karakura seniors are one of the more boisterous groups. Well, it is not the group itself that is boisterous. They just have one friend in particular who clearly doesn't understand proper speaking volume.

"Did you see that the bassist, the super hot one with the pink hair, was totally looking at me all night?" Keigo asks Mizuiro, loudly.

Tatsuki scoffs, equally loudly to make sure Keigo understands just how much no one agrees with his assessment of the night.

Keigo redirects his attention to the black haired karate champion. "It's true! She totally wants me! Chad saw, right Chad?"

Chad simply shrugs, although he definitely does not remember any special attention being directed at Keigo.

"The bassist is a lesbian. There was an article about it in the newspaper." Chizuru informs Keigo.

Keigo is undeterred. "Maybe I made her straight. One look at me was all it took to turn her around."

Orihime doesn't mean to laugh, but a giggle escapes anyway. She quickly covers her mouth apologetically when Keigo looks at her with hurt puppy dog eyes.

"Don't look at her like that. What you just said was truly ridiculous. That's not how sexuality works." Ishida insists.

"Yeah, Ishida doesn't choose to be gay, and he's not going to just see a very attractive woman one day and magically turn straight." Ichigo antagonizes.

Ishida simply rolls his eyes as Mizuiro chuckles. "Mature as ever Kurosaki. I could engage with you, but in this battle of wits you appear to be unarmed."

"You know where I wouldn't be unarmed? In a battle with Zangetsu." Ichigo threatens.

"Or we could settle this Quincy to Quincy." Ishida taunts right back.

Before it can escalate further, Orihime places a calming hand on her new boyfriend's arm. "Ichigo-kun." She warns.

"Tchh. Whatever." Ichigo responds to Ishida.

"So whipped." Mizuiro comments.

Ichigo glares.

"She really does have him whipped. And after only two weeks of dating!" Tatsuki rustles Orihime's hair fondly. "I'm so proud."

Ichigo's vein throbs at Tatsuki's taunt. Orihime's hand drops from Ichigo's arm and squeezes his hand reassuringly. He immedialy calms and intertwines their fingers. She smiles up at him.

"Ugh! It tears my heart apart to see my princess' hand in that brute's!" Chizuru exclaims loudly. The proud lesbian is not at all pleased about 'her Hime' being off the market.

"Wow. You really are not taking this well." Tatsuki replies.

"My only consolation is the general lack of PDA. I've never seen them do anything besides hold hands. Good thing they're both so shy." Chizuru responds.

"It does make me wonder what goes on behind closed doors though." Tatsuki says thoughtfully, rubbing her chin as if in deep thought.

Both orange haired teens blush, releasing their clasped hands. "Tatsuki-chan!" Orihime exclaims.

"What? You barely tell me anything. A girl's mind wanders." Tatsuki explains.

"Is PDA really that bad?" Mizuiro asks. Everyone besides the resident Casanova exchange knowing looks. Mizuiro and all his girlfriends are constantly all over each other, regardless of who is around.

"When it's you and a 50 year old woman? Yes, it is pretty bad." Keigo responds.

Mizuiro pouts. "You're just saying that because you have no one to display PDA with." He murmurs under his breath.

"What was that?" Keigo asks.

Before he can repeat it, the train bound for Karakura shows up. The group rushes inside, scrambling for seats as many other occupants fill the train car.

After a mad scramble, Ichigo, Orihime, Chizuru, Chad, and Mizuiro are seated. Keigo, Tatsuki, and Ishida remain standing.

"Ah man! No fair! My legs are so tired from all the dancing that I did!" Keigo complains.

"You call what you were doing dancing?" Ichigo asks rudely.

"And this is coming from Mr. 'I'm too cool to dance. I'm just going to stand here in the corner and wait for a hollow to attack'." Keigo mocks, in an exaggerated whiny voice Ichigo assumes is supposed to be his own.

"I'm not standing all the way to Karakura. Orihime, sit in your boy toy's lap." Tatsuki suggests.

"I really wish you would stop calling me that." Ichigo replies, but he's also clearing his lap of his jacket so Orihime can sit comfortably.

"We can share a seat Tatsuki-chan. I'm pretty heavy, so I wouldn't want Ichigo-kun to be uncomfortable."

Ichigo wraps his right arm around her waist, lifting her into his lap and ignoring her squeal of surprise. "You're not heavy. Light as a feather. Someone report my new response to Nel. She'll be happy that she taught me something after all."

Tatsuki happily sits in Orihime's vacated seat, reclining victoriously.

"Double no fair! Who else is going to lap up so I can have a seat?" Keigo whines. He looks at Chizuru. "You could sit on Chad's lap. Mizuiro could probably fit too. Then me and Ishida could both sit down."

"I'm not sitting on these train seats. They're filthy. I plan to thoroughly wash my hand just because I'm touching this pole as soon as I get home." Ishida replies.

"Fine. Than just Honshō-san in Chad's lap." Keigo responds.

Chizuru perks up. "I have a better idea! Orihime can sit on my lap. And Mizuiro can share a seat with Kurosaki. They're both pretty scrawny." Ever since Ichigo stole her soulmate, Chizuru takes every chance she gets to insult him.

Ichigo ignores the dig, content to continue tracing Hirigana characters into Orihime's thigh using his index finger. The pretty healer's face scrunches in concentration as she tries to decipher the message.

The train lurches before it leaves Tokyo station, and Keigo almost falls since he is not holding on to a pole.

"No fair no fair! Why do I always end up with the short stick?" The brunette asks.

"Life isn't fair." Ishida replies, now reading a book he has pulled out of his bag, one hand keeping a grip on the pole.

"It's not life that isn't fair. It's you guys. We should all switch off on who is standing."

"Nah." Tatsuki replies dismissively for the entire seated group.

"Why don't you just sit on the floor?" Mizuiro suggests.

"Like a dog?!" Keigo replies incredulously.

Orihime ignores all the shouting, concentrating on the soft caress of Ichigo's finger on the outside of her tight clad thigh. "Ka?" She guesses.

"No." He whispers in her ear, and she involuntarily shudders at his breath on the back of her neck. He retraces the character.

"Maybe someone will get off at the next stop and you can have their seat." Mizuiro suggests.

"The open seat probably wouldn't be near my friends. I don't like to be alone! No fair!" Keigo says petulantly.

"Honestly, it's like talking to a two year old." Chizuru whispers to Tatsuki.

Tatsuki nods in agreement.

Tatsuki looks over to see what her best friend thinks of Keigo's temper tantrum. Her eyes drop to Ichigo's finger, still tracing characters into the pretty girl's thigh.

"Hey Ichigo, keep your hands to yourself. You're looking a little too comfortable there."

Ichigo turns to look at her, his finger stopping its movements. "What are you, her mother?"

Tatsuki smirks. "I might as well be. Since Sora isn't around to read you the riot act on touching his sister, I guess I have to do it."

Ichigo frowns, causing Tatsuki's smirk to widen. Her smirk disappears when Orihime giggles. She leans over to Orihime's left, where Ichigo has now switched to using his left hand index finger to write something.

"Is he talking shit about me?" Tatsuki asks.

"I'm not _talking_ anything." Ichigo replies.

Tatsuki's eyes narrow. "You know what I mean. What are you writing?"

Ichigo lifts his hands innocently. "I'm not doing anything!"

"Hey! Why is no one paying attention to me! I can feel my calves cramping up! I really need to sit!" Keigo yells.

Everyone continues to ignore him.

"Leave them alone Tatsuki. Let Ichigo keep writing his love notes." Mizuiro interjects.

Both Ichigo and Orihime flush as everyone's attention turns to them.

"I'm _not_ writing love notes!" Ichigo insists, clearly embarrassed with the attention.

"What, you don't love Hime? Did you hear that Hime?! He doesn't even love you like I do!" Chizuru shouts, jumping to her feet and rushing to kneel at Orihime's side.

Keigo smiles. "Sweet!" He exclaims before plopping down into Chizuru's vacated seat.

Chizuru immediately releases Orihime's hand, which she had been kissing feverishly, and rushes back toward Keigo.

"Hey! No fair! I was there first Asano!"

"There's no saving seats! That was established. The seat was totally fair game! You agree, right Chad? Chad is obviously the moral authority of the group. Whatever he says goes." Keigo praises.

"Well, I think it is still Honshō-san's seat." Chad says in his rumbling voice.

"What do you know Chad?! Everyone knows you are totally unfair!" Keigo insists.

Chizuru and Keigo continue to argue, getting louder and louder and drawing more of the other passengers' attention.

With the group's attention successfully diverted away from them, Orihime leans back into Ichigo's lap, and he rests his head on her shoulder. She presses a light kiss to his upper jaw.

"You know Kurosaki-kun," She begins. She does that sometimes. Calls him Kurosaki-kun as a term of endearment. The way someone else might call their significant other baby or honey. She leans up so she can whisper into his ear. "I do love you. Very much."

He doesn't know how he's supposed to respond to that. So he does what feels right. And that is kiss her, regardless of who is around.

"No fair!" Chizuru screams when she notices.

…

..

.

A/N: The End! Or is it? I have ideas for epilogue chapters, maybe like 3. If anyone is interested in those that is.

Thanks for reading! And please review and let me know if you want epilogue chapters! 


	5. The Question

A/N: Thank you to everyone who reviewed, favorited, and alerted! The response to this fic has been unbelievable. I know this is listed as a comedy, but this chapter is a little more serious. Hope you guys like it.

 **Chapter 5: The Question**

He carefully lays the crumbled roses on the well maintained grave. The 21 year old college senior straightens up, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly.

"Sorry they got messed up. I ran into a hollow on the way here and my body fell on top of them. It's the thought that counts though, right?"

The wind rustles his bright orange hair. He halfheartedly tries to straighten it, before giving up and shoving his hands in his jean pockets. He looks down at his white button up shirt.

"I dressed up. Kind of. I didn't want to wear an actual suit. Wearing a suit in the summer is so uncomfortable. Guess I should take that into account for the job search, huh? Can't be anything that requires wearing a suit year round."

An older gentleman shuffles by, leaning heavily on his cane. Ichigo quiets until the stranger is out of earshot.

"I came here today because I want to ask you something." He swallows nervously, his intense gaze focused on Inoue Sora's headstone. "I…I wanted to ask for your blessing…I want to marry your sister."

Ichigo pauses to compose his thoughts. A bird chirps merrily nearby. Ichigo smirks fondly as he thinks of his intended.

"You know, Orihime probably wouldn't like this. This whole tradition of asking a father for his daughter's hand. She's minoring in women studies you know. I'm sure she's told you. She's always talking about societal patriarchy and feminism. Honestly, a lot of it goes over my head. But some of it must be getting through to me because she would definitely think this is archaic. A byproduct of a time when it didn't matter who the woman wanted to marry, her father figure would just choose for her."

Sora, of course, doesn't respond. Ichigo doesn't mind.

"But I did want to talk to you before I propose. I would like your blessing. I know the last time we talked, you said you would never give Orihime to me. But I'd like to think that was just the hollow talking. Because I really love your sister. I want to spend the rest of my life with her."

Ichigo frowns.

"When I told my Dad that I want to propose, he said it was a bad idea. He thinks we're too young. That I'm rushing into this. But we've been together for four years! How is that rushing?"

Ichigo looks away from his potential brother-in-law's headstone guiltily. "Well, I guess technically we've been together more like 3 and a half years. We did break up. Once." He quickly rushes to explain, because he can just picture the disapproving look that would have been on Sora's face.

"Last year, she studied abroad in Paris. For a whole year. They finally got a competent Shinigami to station in Karakura. We really didn't need to be here anymore. Ishida transferred to Tokyo University. And Chad took a break from school to go back to Mexico for a while. I was content to stay in Karakura, finish school, but she wanted to see the world. Who am I to try to stop her? We obviously had to talk about what that meant for us. We decided to do the long distance thing. I thought I could handle it."

Ichigo's famous scowl firmly entrenches itself on his face.

"Long distance is hard. We barely ever skyped, with the time difference and both of our busy schedules. Worst of all, she met this guy. They got really close. He was her best friend over there."

Seeing now that he was going to be here awhile, Ichigo takes a seat on the grass, stretching out his long legs and getting comfortable.

"I…I was really jealous. They were hanging out all the time, taking pictures all over Europe. He uploads everything so they were all over my timeline. He's a good looking guy too. From a wealthy family, goes to one of the best schools in France. I guess I was just threatened by him. Especially being so far away."

Ichigo absentmindedly pulls at the grass blades near his fingers.

"I flew out there to visit her over Winter break. We'd been doing the long distance thing for four months, and when I got there everything was great at first. To be able to physically touch her, kiss her, love her…" He stops when he remembers he's talking to his girlfriend's older brother.

"Sorry. Anyway, she wants me to meet all her French friends. The guy, his name is Philippe, was there of course. And while we're at dinner he's just all over her. Kissing her on the cheek, touching her back, smiling at her all night. And this is while I'm there! So I can only imagine the kind of shit he was pulling with me here in Karakura."

Ichigo tries to take a deep breath. Recounting the story is bringing up all the anger he felt at the time.

"We got into a big fight that night. She kept insisting everything I thought was him hitting on her was just cultural differences. I said some really mean shit to her." He frowns as he recalls some of the hurtful things he said. "Things I'm not proud of."

"I told her if she wasn't willing to come back to Karakura with me, then we were done. And she wasn't willing to leave in the middle of the program. So we were done."

Ichigo notices his hands are clenched, damaging the lawn. He loosens his grip and apologetically smooths the dirt back into place.

"I left her apartment and checked into a hotel. She kept calling me, but I let them all go to voicemail. I can be really stubborn. I'm working on that." He admits.

"I couldn't afford to change my flight, so I decided to make the best of it. It was my first time out of the country. I hung out in Paris for a few days. Went to London too. I….did a lot of things I'm not proud of."

He reluctantly looks directly at Sora's headstone, feeling the need to confess everything so Sora can decide if he's worthy of his sister.

"I can only describe it as a quarter life crisis. I had just broken up with the love of my life, I was in a different countries miles away from my family and friends, I….I just felt so alone. I also started thinking about how no one ends up with their high school sweetheart. How I'd never even kissed anyone other than Orihime."

Ichigo sighs, really not wanting to continue.

"I made a lot of mistakes that week. I guess I felt like I was making up for lost time. In college, Keigo, Mizuiro, Chad, heck even Ishida, they were with different girls. That's the time for stuff like that. But I was with Orihime so I never got to do that. Not that I even wanted to do that when I had her. But then, alone in London without her, I felt like there should be some consolation."

Ichigo imagines that if Sora was alive and they were currently having this discussion face to face, he would have been socked in the jaw by now. Sora did get some good licks in as a hollow though, which 15 year old Ichigo hadn't deserved at the time. Ichigo felt he definitely deserved them now.

"When I got back to Karakura, I told someone. I think Chad. Who told Tatsuki. Who told Orihime. I guess I knew it would get back to her. I guess deep down I wanted her to know. To punish her, I guess. Probably more to punish myself. She called me crying. We'd only been broken up for a week and that is what I was doing. Tatsuki came to Karakura and beat the shit out of me. I deserved it though. " Ichigo sighs, leaning back heavily on his palms.

"After London, I didn't try to pick up any other girls. I just focused on school. And work. Just tried to make it through the year. Me and Orihime didn't talk. It was painful. But I felt like I didn't even deserve to reach out to her. I felt tainted. Months went by without any contact from her."

Ichigo smiles wistfully as he finally reaches a happy part of the story. "But then, summer finally came. I knew she was back, I could feel her reiatsu, but she hadn't come to talk to me. Since I was the one who ruined everything, I couldn't go to her. I started to just accept that it was really over. But then, one day she knocked on my door. Philippe had come to Karakura from France to visit her, and he tried to kiss her. He did want to be more than her friend. He always had. I was right. She actually apologized to me." Ichigo scoffs, still not believing how ridiculous that had been.

"I apologized for everything I did. Including trying to force her to pick me over the once in a lifetime opportunity to study in Paris. I was really being a douchebag. Losing her put everything into perspective. It made me realize how much I love her. That I want to spend the rest of my life with her."

Ichigo pulls a tiny satin box out of his jean pocket. He gingerly turns it in his right hand.

"We've been together ever since. I think we're stronger than ever. We got an apartment together off campus. I'm ready for the next step. Marriage. Kids. Everything." He smiles at the thought of their possible happily-ever-after. Then, he frowns when he remembers what has been keeping him from proposing this last year.

"Orihime wants to get her PhD. In rocket science, believe it or not. She's going to Tokyo University next year. We've been talking about it, and she doesn't want me to think I have to follow her. That I have to leave my friends and family and move across the country. But I would happily do that for her. I love her."

Ichigo sits up straight, taking his weight off of his arms. "I guess I am a little worried about what I'd do in Tokyo though. I feel like Orihime is on this great path, and she's going to have this great career, and I don't know what I want to do yet. The plan was medical school, but I don't think I really want to run Dad's clinic. I don't know what you do with a Bachelor's in Biology besides go to medical school. I don't want to be some unemployed loser hanging out in the Tokyo apartment Orihime pays for. I know it's old fashioned, but I want to take care of her. I want to be able to take care of a family. I'd want her to be able to be a stay at home mom, at least, when our kids are young. And I know Orihime would argue that I'm reinforcing traditional gender roles and I could be a stay at home dad, but I can't imagine anyone who is going to make a better mother than Orihime. She's so loving and nurturing. She'll obviously be the favorite parent. How could she not be? I wouldn't want to deprive our children of a second of time that they could have spent with her."

Ichigo sighs, running a hand through his hair. "She's a lot smarter than me. She'll probably make more money than I will. And she's so damn beautiful and then I think about what I did in London and  
I start to think maybe I don't even deserve her."

"She could meet someone else in Tokyo. Some genius PhD student in her program who can give her more than I can. And sometimes I worry that's why I want to get engaged right now. To tie her down to me before she can meet someone better. Maybe I'm just a jealous, insecure asshole who should let her go if I really love her."

Ichigo sighs irritably again, opening the tiny satin box and gazing at the ring inside. "But if I ask, that doesn't force her to say yes." He acknowledges quietly, talking more to himself than to Sora.

"I'll understand if she doesn't want to marry me. Maybe she thinks we're too young like my Dad said. Maybe she realizes she can do better." Ichigo shakes his head to get out of his wallowing, which his father would tell him is very unbecoming.

"But I think she loves me. No, I know she does. And I love her. And sometimes love is crazy and it's not about who deserves what." He's starting to sound more like his true self, the seemingly fearless substitute Shinigami his girlfriend fell in love with so many years ago.

Ichigo raises his amber orbs from the modest ring and focuses on the gravestone in front of him. "I'm going to ask for your sister's hand in marriage. I hope that's okay with you."

A warm wind rustles the roses lying on the grave. Ichigo smiles. "I'll take that as a yes."

…

..

.

 _Two weeks later, Graduation_

"For Kami's sake, do you really need another picture?!" Karin asks as her father continues to take shots of the new college graduates.

Yuzu beams at her brother and Orihime as she watches on, clutching the flowers Ichigo bought for Orihime as a graduation gift closely.

Isshin continues snapping. "This is a momentous occasion! Who thought that Ichigo would actually graduate?! I was surprised he made it through high school! And now look at my boy, a college grad! And I had no doubt the beautiful Orihime would graduate at the top of her class, but she's needed in the pictures to up the attractiveness factor."

Ichigo frowns. "I was never in danger of not graduating! Not even when there was a bunch of Soul Society stuff going on." He insists.

Tatsuki smiles as she watches, giving her best friend a thumbs up, looking like a proud mama as she takes some cell phone candid shots. Orihime's aunt has also turned up for the occasion. After funding her niece for so many years, it is nice to see the investment has paid off.

Isshin ignores Ichigo's retort. "Let's get some kissing photos."

Usually not a couple big on PDA, the lovebirds oblige for their friends and family, sharing a sweet peck as the cameras click on merrily.

Orihime smiles when they part, wiping some of her lip gloss off of Ichigo's bottom lip with her thumb.

"Congratulations Kurosaki-kun." He smirks at the familiar moniker and wraps her up in his arms, ignoring their audience. Her arms wrap around his neck in return.

"Congratulations to you Miss Summa Cum Laude"

Orihime blushes, never one good at taking a compliment.

Ichigo kisses her forehead. "You know, the next time you do this people will be calling you doctor."

"Doctor Inoue has a nice ring to it." Orhime responds, absentmindedly playing with the tassel on his graduation cap.

"I think I like Doctor Kurosaki better." Ichigo replies.

Orihime looks up at him puzzled. "Did you change your mind about medical school? Does this mean you won't be coming to Tokyo with me?" Her tone sounds a little panicked.

He is quick to reassure her. "No, I was talking about you. I want you to be Dr. Kurosaki."

With that said, Ichigo drops to one knee. Yuzu gasps louder than Orihime does.

"Inoue Orihime, will you make me the happiest man in the world by agreeing to be my wife?"

Orihime manages to choke out a "Yes" through her happy tears.

Ichigo barely manages to slip the ring onto her finger before she drops down to his level and passionately kisses him.

Isshin smiles as he records the moment on his cell phone. Although he has his concerns, there's really no particular appropriate age for true love.

Orihime laughs when she pulls away, this time using the sleeve of her graduation robe to get her lip gloss off his face.

The two are practically tackled when Yuzu comes in with the bear hug. "I'm so happy for you guys! Onii-chan and Orihime-nee together forever!" Yuzu is crying just as much as Orihime is.

Karin claps Ichigo on the back roughly, "About time." She says with a smile.

Tatsuki waits until Yuzu has released Orihime and moved onto congratulating Ichigo before pulling her best friend into an embrace. "Man am I glad I flew back for your graduation. That jerk didn't even tell me! I could have missed this!"

"I'm so glad you were here Tatsuki-chan! You're like my sister and I couldn't imagine you not being here for such an important moment. I love you just as much as I love Ichigo-kun, you know."

"God, you're going to make me cry." Tatsuki wipes at her eyes to ward off the tears. "Okay, enough of that mush. Let me see your ring!"

Orihime's aunt approaches Isshin. "I don't know Ichigo very well, so I'm just going to have to trust that he's the right man for my niece."

Isshin's grin widens as he watches the newly engaged couple embrace, snapping another photo for good measure.

"No question about it. Those two are meant to be."

…

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A/N: Please review! I'll try to update again soon.


	6. 70 Months Pregnant

A/N: Thank you to everyone who reviewed, favorited, and alerted. Hope you like this chapter!

 **Title: 70 Months Pregnant**

…

 **..**

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First, she braces herself with a deep breath. Second, she attempts to gain the momentum necessary to leave the comfy couch. After several failed attempts, she manages to rock herself to the edge of her seat. With one last groan, Orihime struggles to a standing position. Being seven months pregnant with twins, everything is a struggle now-a-days.

She walks, or waddles really, to the kitchen.

"I don't know why you won't let me get my own damn lemonade. I think I'm at the house enough that I shouldn't be considered a guest." Tatsuki insists.

"You'll always be a guest here Tatsuki-chan! What kind of host do you think I am?" Orihime asks. She finishes pouring the glass and starts waddling back towards the couch.

Tatsuki meets her halfway, leaning against the kitchen island. This saves Orihime from having to lower herself back down to the couch, which is surprisingly challenging with the extra 30 pounds in her belly.

Tatsuki guzzles down the lemonade. "You're really overdoing it. It's a miracle Ichigo managed to get you to finally take maternity leave from your classes."

Orihime pouts. "I really miss my students. I hope they'll be okay without me."

Tatsuki rolls her eyes. "They're college engineering students Hime, not kindergarteners. I'm sure they'll be fine."

"But we're really close!" Orihime insists.

Tatsuki pats her friend's head fondly. "I know Professor Kurosaki. But you're also really pregnant. Soon you're going to need to be on bed rest."

Orihime pouts. "But that will be so boring! Although it could be a good time to finish writing my aerospace engineering textbook."

"That's my girl. Always looking on the bright side." Tatsuki checks her watch. "Oops, where'd the time go? I'm going to be late for my mom's luncheon." Orihime follows her best friend to the door.

"Tell Arisawa-san that I say congratulations on her well-deserved retirement!" Orihime chimes as Tatsuki swings the door open.

"Will do!" Tatsuki promises before heading off. "Bye Ichigo!" She calls, getting into her car.

Ichigo takes a break from his lawn mowing to offer a lazy wave goodbye.

Yamata Keiko, a recent divorcee currently jogging down the street, mistakes this wave as meant for her. "Good morning Ichigo!" She chimes, waving back in a way Orihime can't help but think is a little flirtatious.

Orihime frowns at the pang of jealousy and insecurity she feels welling up. She tries to brush it off, chalking it up to her crazy pregnancy hormones.

"Morning." Ichigo returns to Yamata-san, not paying her much attention as he revs the lawn mower back up. He wipes some sweat from his brow. It's surprising hot and muggy for September.

Orihime decides to fetch some lemonade for her husband. After all, with her being out of commission he's taken over all the household chores. He definitely deserves a little lemonade break.

By the time she has waddled inside, poured the lemonade, and waddled back outside while precariously carrying the full glass of lemonade, it has gotten even hotter.

Ichigo takes his white tank off, wiping his sweaty face with the shirt before tossing it onto the grass. He's about to get back to work on the lawn when someone lightly taps his shoulder.

He turns toward her, glistening from the sheen of sweat on his perfectly sculpted body. She is momentarily rendered speechless from the sight. It's not fair for one man to be so good looking. Especially now when she's the size of a house.

Ichigo gratefully takes the full glass from her. She stares at his bicep as he gulps it down greedily.

He sighs when he finishes, wiping his mouth with his beautifully tanned arm. "Thanks babe. I was really-" He's interrupted when a sob erupts from his wife. He frowns. There's nothing he hates more than seeing the love of his life cry. He instinctively wipes away her tears with his calloused thumb. "What's wrong?" He asks gently.

She tries to stop the tears running down her face. She knows this is ridiculous. She doesn't even really know why she's crying.

"Hey." He wraps her up in his arms, hoping she doesn't mind the sweat. She places her hands on his strong back, crying into his chest. "What's wrong?" He repeats.

"It's stupid." She insists.

"Try me." He pushes.

She sighs, tightening her grip around him. "It's just…you're so good looking."

He frowns, puzzled. He pulls away slightly so he can look at her. "Huh?"

She fidgets uncomfortably. "You're so attractive. You just keep getting better and better looking with age. And…and I'm so fat!" She reveals.

"You're not fat. You're pregnant. _We're_ pregnant." He counters.

"It's not even just that I'm practically 70 months pregnant and fat," She continues, ignoring his response. "I'm starting to get pregnancy acne. And I'm starting to get stretch marks! Not to mention-" She's interrupted before she can continue to berate herself.

"You've never been more beautiful to me." He insists.

She shoots him an incredulous look.

"I mean it. Every time I look at you, I can't believe how lucky I am." He places a hand on her protruding belly, rubbing gently. "How lucky our kids are to have you as their mother. It kind of blows my mind a little. How did a punk like me end up with an angel like you?" He confesses.

She's still crying, but now she's smiling a little too. "Kurosaki-kun always knows what to say." She mumbles fondly.

"Well, after 4 years of dating, a 5 year engagement, and 3 years of marriage, I would hope that I know how to talk to you by now." He replies jokingly, kissing her forehead.

She pulls away slightly to look at him properly. "But seriously Ichigo-kun, even after I give birth and hopefully lose the baby weight, I'm still going to have these stretch marks. I'm worried you're going to be disappointed in my post-baby body. Maybe you'll lose interest…." She trails off.

He scowls at her, releasing her from the hug and crossing his arms. "Lose interest? What kind of asshole do you think I am?" It is obvious she has offended him.

"I'm not saying you're a bad guy, that's not what I'm saying at all, it's just I'm not going to look like the girl you fell in love with forever. I'm much heavier, I'm going to have scars all over my belly-"

"You don't mind my scars." Ichigo points out.

Orihime scoffs. "That's different. You have battle scars. From enemies so powerful that I couldn't even reject them. Your scars show that you're a hero. That you've saved countless people. That you've saved me on several occasions." She explains.

"And what do you think pregnancy scars are? They're just a visual reminder of the powerful thing you're doing. You're creating human life! Twins! You're growing two people inside of you." He sighs when she still doesn't look convinced, pulling her back into his arms. "Looking at those stretch marks 10, 20, 30 years from now is just going to remind me of this amazing gift you're giving me." He concludes.

She sniffles, touched by his words. Her pregnancy hormones make her so emotional. "Really?" She asks.

"Yes, really. You know, for the smartest person I know, you can be really stupid sometimes. Like I would ever lose interest in you." He responds.

She smiles, reassured. Now that her crazy pregnancy insecurity mood swing has passed, she's in a playful mood. "You know, I think I would feel better if we were on an even playing field. You think you could put on a few pounds?" She asks jokingly.

He pretends to give it serious thought. "Well, I can't really cut down on the hollow killing exercise I get."

"We could ask Ishida-kun to spend less time at the sewing machine in favor of spending more time exterminating hollows. That could result in an imbalance of souls, but I'm sure Soul Society will understand if we just tell them we need you to get fat." She manages to almost keep a straight face.

He smirks. "That still leaves the issue of the dojo. I guess I could actually start acting like the owner instead of teaching so many of the classes. I'll just sit in my office and eat." He continues to play along.

"Perfect! Do you think you could put on fifty pounds in the next two months?" She questions playfully.

"Anything for you Dear." He replies.

She smiles, leaning up to kiss her sweet husband. They part several long moments later.

After a pause, Orihime speaks again. "But seriously Kurosaki-kun if you could just put on ten pounds to make your abs less pronounced that would be great."

…

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A/N: I really struggled with this chapter. I thought about just cutting it completely, but figured something was better than nothing. The next chapter will be the last one, and I have a better idea of what I want to do with that one so hopefully I can get that out soon.

Please review and let me know what you thought!


	7. Gerber Babies

A/N: Sorry it took so long, but here's the final chapter! Thank you so much for all your reviews, favs, and alerts! The response has been incredible!

 **Title: Gerber Babies**

…

 **..**

 **.**

Tatsuki can't help but glare at Keigo as he taps his foot repeatedly on the hospital's linoleum floor. She understands it's a nervous jitter, she's nervous too, probably a lot more nervous than him in fact. It's her best friend who's about to give birth after all! Why must Keigo always be so annoying?

Mizuiro, who is seated next to Keigo, seems to be on her same wavelength. He kicks Keigo's foot, effectively stopping the monotonous tapping. "Calm down Keigo. Hospitals know how to deliver babies. They do it every day."

"Oh, I just hate to think of my sweet Orihime-chan being in any pain! And all because that brute had to impregnate her." Chizuru chides.

Tatsuki redirects her glare from Keigo to Chizuru. "Really? It's been 12 years Chizuru! Let it go!"

"Never!" Chizuru yells.

The waiting room nurse glares at the loud group. "Shhh!" She insists.

Mizuiro shakes his head. "You're all so embarrassing."

"Well it's easy for you to be calm Mizuiro. You're the only one here who has kids." Keigo reasons.

"I don't have children. Yet I have the mental fortitude needed to sit here quietly." Ishida adds, looking up from the magazine he'd been reading.

Keigo pouts. "Sorry I'm not an emotionless robot. Fine. I'm just going to sit here in complete silence. Good luck entertaining yourselves without my witty commentary." Keigo threatens.

Tatsuki scoffs. "Yeah, witty. That's the word we would all use."

Before Keigo can retort, breaking his new vow of silence, Chad returns from the hospital gift store.

"Damn it Chad, we agreed to cap the gifts at $20!" Tatsuki complains when she sees the mountain of gifts Chad has returned with.

"But we don't know the genders, so I had to get girl stuff, and boy stuff, and gender neutral stuff." Chad reasons, gesturing to the different balloons and teddy bears indicative of each gender.

"Don't let Orihime-san hear you say anything about boy or girl stuff. You know how she feels about assigning gender roles." Ishida reminds.

Mizuiro chuckles. "Ichigo told me Orihime says if the twins are boys she's going to buy them dolls so they don't think they have to play with 'boy' toys. I don't think Ichigo is crazy about that."

"But he's so whipped he won't even try to stop her." Keigo adds.

"Funny to hear you call someone else whipped. Your evil fiancée seems to have you wrapped around her little finger." Tatsuki criticizes.

"Evil is a strong word Arisawa-san. Sure, Siri can be a little mean-" Keigo is interrupted.

"A little mean? She made my kids cry!" Mizuiro reminds his longtime friend.

"She's also made you cry. Several times." Chizuru reminds Keigo.

"But she's so hot!" Keigo insists.

"But ugly on the inside." Tatsuki adds.

Keigo glowers, crossing his arms and sinking into his uncomfortable waiting room seat. "Well what do you guys know about relationships? We've got Mr. twice divorced guy with older women fetish here" he gestures at Mizuiro,

"Mr. Married to his sewing business" directed at Ishida,

"Ms. Ball Buster who drives away all interested candidates" this jab is directed at Tatsuki

"Ms. In love with a happily married straight woman" Keigo points right at Chizuru

"And I have no idea why you haven't proposed to your girlfriend Chad. She's hot! And not evil. Plus you've been together for like five years. You must have commitment issues." Keigo pauses to allow his words to sink in. "If I'm going to take advice from anybody, it has to be Ichigo and Orihime. They're the only people I know in a functional relationship."

"I resent that! Renji and I are in a functional relationship." Rukia insists, joining the group with Renji trailing behind her, struggling to carry diapers, balloons, and oddly wrapped presents.

Tatsuki smiles. "Rukia, Renji! You guys made it!"

Rukia nods. "It was a pain in the ass getting through the Senkaimon gate without an appointment, but we wouldn't miss this for the world! Plus, we had to bring gifts from practically all of Soul Society for the new babies!"

Rukia plops into a seat beside Tatsuki, Renji following suit after carefully lowering the gifts to the floor.

"So why are we out here in the waiting room?" Renji asks.

Tatsuki frowns. "They said family only. So Isshin, Yuzu, and Karin are in there. Can you believe that? Orihime is basically my sister! Stupid hospital bureaucracy." Tatsuki complains.

"Well, at least Yuzu is in there. She's given birth twice and she's a nurse so she should know how to help." Rukia chimes.

"Honestly, we're probably better off not being in there. Child birth is not pretty. Trust me." Mizuiro shudders as he reflects on watching the births of his two children.

"Remember when we had to watch that birth video in health? It honestly scarred me for life!" Keigo adds.

"And I don't know if I'm the only one, but don't you think newborn babies are kind of hideous? All covered in goo, and squished from squeezing through the birth canal. I'm obviously not going to say anything to my sweet Hime-chan about how grossed out I am by her newborn children, but on the inside I'll be thinking it." Chizuru confessed.

"What a terrible thing to say about my godchildren! Ichigo and Orihime's babies will be beautiful!" Tatsuki insists.

"Wait, did Orihime already promise you Godmother? I really thought Ichigo would pick me and Renji as Godparents." Rukia challenges.

The two brunettes exchange pointed looks. Before it can escalate, Keigo speaks.

"Will Orihime and Ichigo produce attractive children?" Keigo questions, more to himself than anyone around him.

"Huh?" Renji prompts.

"I mean, just because two attractive people reproduce does not necessarily mean their offspring will be attractive." Keigo explains.

"That might be the dumbest thing you've ever said." Ishida comments.

"No, I mean it! Sometimes the hot genes are recessive, and the offspring gets the ugly gene. It happens! I'm no scientist-"

"Clearly." Tatsuki interjects.

Keigo continues as if she hadn't said anything. "But genetics are a funny thing!"

"Hmm…Keigo might be on to something." Mizuiro agrees.

"Don't agree with that idiot!" Rukia complains.

"All I know is that when my ex-wife used to force me to go to baby yoga classes, sometimes the cutest babies had very unattractive parents. But somehow, their gene combo resulted in a cute baby." Mizuiro explains.

"I guess whether or not the twins are attractive will depend on whose genes they get a bigger dose of. Orihime's genes are obviously perfection, but what if they get a big dose of Kurosaki? Can you imagine twin girls with Ichigo's face? Ughh. It makes me shudder." Chizuru insults.

"I have trouble picturing a female Ichigo." Chad comments, trying his best to imagine it.

"Hmm…so do I. If the twins are girls, hopefully they look like Orihime. I just don't think Ichigo's features are that feminine. They would end up looking like drag queens." Renji adds.

"You guys are unbelievable. You're talking about infants!" Tatsuki reminds.

"No one is wishing ugliness on them. But we should prepare for that possibility. I mean, if you go in there expecting supermodels because of their parents' looks, you could be setting yourself up for disappointment." Keigo insists.

"But on the flip side, what if the twins are boys? Can you imagine boys with more of Orihime's features?" Mizuiro questions.

Tatsuki taps her chin as she considers the possibility. "Actually, I think that works. They'd be cute. Maybe a little too cute. I feel like they would get picked on by the other boys."

"Yeah, we'd have to toughen them up because they would definitely be bullied. Can you picture those big doe eyes on a boy? It would be cute as a baby, but what about high school? It would be a disaster." Rukia agrees.

"Isn't there an app that morphs faces into babies?" Chad asks.

"You're right Chad! Just let me download it real quick…" Keigo pauses as his phone loads the new app. "Okay! Now let me upload pictures of Orihime and Ichigo…and…."

Everyone, except Ishida and Tatsuki, crowds around Keigo's phone as the images morph.

"Ughh!" Everyone exclaims when a hideous morph is created.

"That can't be right! It doesn't look like either of them!" Rukia complains. "I guess we'll just have to wait until these babies are born."

For several moments, the group sits and waits in relative silence.

"Here's another scenario though. What if one twin is attractive and one twin is ugly? They could be fraternal. Wouldn't that be terrible?" Chizuru contemplates.

Ishida had been ignoring the others and reading his magazine, but this new scenario interests him. He lowers the magazine on the side table. "That would be pretty terrible. The less attractive twin would have a much harder life. It's scientifically proven that appearance plays a role in getting jobs and raises."

"There would be so much conflict in the Kurosaki household! Do you think that could drive my Hime into my arms?" Chizuru sighs dreamily as she pictures it.

Tatsuki smacks her upside the head. "Don't wish that on them! What's wrong with you? In fact, what's wrong with all of us? This conversation is terrible. Who cares what the twins look like? As long as they're happy and healthy I'm happy."

"You say that now, but if they look like Gollum then-" Whatever Keigo was going to say was interrupted when Ichigo enters the waiting room.

Everyone immediately rushes to him and he is bombarded by questions.

"How's Orihime?"

"What's the gender? Genders?"

"Did you pass out?"

"How are the babies?"

"What are their names?"

"Woah. Umm… Orihime's great. She was a champ. I did not pass out. I think if I can handle constant hollow attacks I can also handle watching my wife give birth to my children. The babies are great! Just getting cleaned up now and then you guys can come in. We have a baby boy and a baby girl! We named them Ryo and Reina." Ichigo answers all the questions he could hear with everyone talking over one another.

Chad wraps Ichigo up in a big bear hug, lifting the smaller man off the floor. "Ouch…" Ichigo wheezes when Chad squeezes too tight.

"Congratulations!" Chad says with a big smile.

Ichigo smiles as he is released from the hug. "Thanks Chad."

"Well, what are we waiting for? Let's go see these babies!" Keigo exclaims excitedly.

Ichigo smiles. "Yeah, can't wait for you guys to meet them. They're beautiful. I think they look like Orihime but Orihime says they look like me."

Keigo leans over to whisper in Mizuiro's ear. "Parents can't be objective when it comes to their own children. We'll have to be the judge of whether or not these kids are beautiful."

After a short walk, they're in front of the delivery room. "Let me just make sure Orihime is dressed and ready for you guys." Ichigo mutters before entering the room without his friends.

As soon as he is out of earshot, Keigo turns to the remainder of the group. "Ok guys. Even if the twins are not as good looking as we would have hoped, keep in mind that they just squeezed through Orihime's vagina. They might get more attractive with time."

This time, Rukia is the one to smack him instead of Tatsuki.

Ichigo opens the door. "Come on in guys!" He's still smiling brightly, an expression that is not often seen on his face. He's happier than anyone ever remembers seeing him.

Tatsuki narrowly manages to beat Rukia as the first in the room. Yuzu, Karin, and Isshin all stand off to the side, giving the new arrivals some room. Orihime smiles at her friends, a baby in both arms.

Somehow, minutes after birth, she manages to look stunning, if a little tired. Ichigo sits on the edge of the bed beside her, kissing her forehead tenderly.

"Guys, I would like to introduce you to Ryo and Reina." She tenderly adjusts the babies so her friends can see their faces.

"They're beautiful!" Keigo exclaims loudly, tears welling up in his eyes.

"They look like Gerber babies, right? Oh, I'm so proud to be a grandpa again! And my first grandson! Oh, a happy day indeed!" Isshin exclaims excitedly.

Tatsuki can feel tears welling up in her eyes as well. "Wow. They're really something." She whispers.

Orihime smiles, placing a kiss on her son's forehead, and then one on her daughter's as well. "They are, aren't they?"

"It looks like they got the best features from both of you!" Renji observes.

"They definitely have Orihime's hair." Rukia acknowledges.

"Ichigo's eyes." Chad adds, when both twins open their eyes to look around at all the commotion.

"They'll end up with the Kurosaki chin." Karin insists with a smirk.

Ichigo wraps his arm around Orihime as she cuddles their babies and their friends try to decide who the twins resemble more. Orihime pinches his arm lightly. He casts a questioning look at her.

"Just making sure this is real life. Because it feels like a dream come true." She confesses.

Ichigo smiles, ducking his head slightly to give her a lingering kiss. "By pinching me?" He asks, his lips practically still on her's.

"Well, did you feel it?" She asks.

He smiles, resting his large hand on his daughter's small head.

"Sure did." He answers.

…

..

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A/N: The End! Hope you guys enjoyed it! Please review!


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